I'm not ready to die
by Panem's Ruler
Summary: 12 year old Adina "Addie" Lark is sent into the Games. She's not ready to die, but she's not willing to kill. How can she win without killing? It's kill or be killed out there...
1. The Reaping

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games Trilogy; it is the property of Suzanne Collins._

* * *

The sun was beginning to rise when I opened my eyes, a yawn escaping my parted lips. I hadn't dreamt, which was unusual, but I'm glad I hadn't for my dreams would have been nothing but a vortex of nightmares which would deprive me of sleep all night and make me incredibly grumpy in the morning.

I rub my eyes and sit up, looking around my small room. My older brother Aurik lays in his bed by the opposite wall, snoring softly as his legs kicked underneath the blankets. He was 16 now and only had 2 more years left of Reapings left before he was safe. I however, was attending my first Reaping today.

"You okay, Addie?" Aurik mumbled, rolling over and stretching.

"Yeah, I guess so," I shrug, trying to hide the fear in my voice. "I mean, my name is only in there 3 times."

"Yeah, remember, people your age have a lot more entries than you. Think about it: I've made it through 3 years-almost four-, and so will you. In fact, we'll both make it through all of our reapings."

I nod, smiling slightly. "Auri, what were you dreaming about? You were moving around a lot." I try to change the subject, I don't really want to talk about the Reaping to be honest.

"It was nothing, Addie, don't worry," He says, standing up. "It was just a dream. Now come on, we need to get ready before mum gets back from work, else she might be a little mad."

I swallow and peel back my covers, shivering in the early morning air of District 7. Aurik takes my hand and leads me out from our room and into the hallway. Our house has four rooms; the kitchen/living area, the bathroom, mine and Aurik's room and our mother's room- dad left a long time ago.

I sat down at our rickety old table ad Aurik reached into the cupboard and produced a loaf of bread and some jam. "Bread's still fresh." he muttered to himself.

He got two wooden plates down from on top of the cupboard and placed a slice of bread on each, then slathered it in jam. He set down a plate in front of me, and one in front of him.

I bite into the bread, savouring the taste of the jam. It's been a while since I've eaten a tasty meal like this, usually it's just watered down porridge that mum prepares sometimes before she goes to work, or stale bread with grated cheese.

We're not that poor, we can afford the necessities and still have a bit left over, but mum has to work hard, and is pretty much always sleeping, or out in the woods working. Aurik looked after me,tending to my scraped knees and cuts, tucking me in every night. It was because of that that we shared a strong, unbreakable bond.

I didn't blame mum at all for not being around often; it wasn't her fault she had to work long hours, or that some months we barely scraped by. If dad was here, it would be a lot easier, but he wasn't here, he had ran off before I was born. Aurik didn't really remember him all too well, having been only four when he left, but the memories he had seemed to be good ones. I don't think my father was a bad man.

I finish my food, licking the blobs of jam off that stuck to my fingers. Aurik laughed, and did the same. Taking my plate and, stacking it in the sink, he disappears for a few seconds and comes back with a white dress. "I'm going to start running a bath for myself, okay? I want you to get changed into this and then brush your hair."

"Kay." I take the dress from his arms and walk back into our room. I change out of my striped pyjamas and into the dress. It hangs off my body loosely, and I pull a red ribbon around my middle so that it hugs my body and smile.

I pick up my brush and start pulling it through my mid-length hair, ridding it of any knots and tangles.

Aurik comes back in, dressed in a suit. "You look beautiful." he smiles.

"And you look handsome," I grin, pinning my fringe back with a leaf hair clip.

The front door opens and Aurik quickly smooths down his hair, in an attempt to make it look smart. I giggled, and mum stood in he doorway smiling.

"Hey kiddo's" she said, "You both ready?"

"I-I think so," I stutter, my stomach starting to churn.

Aurik takes my hand and gently squeezes it in reassurance. He doesn't say anything, nor does mum when she takes my other hand and we join the quiet line of children, teenagers and adults slowly making their way to the town square.

I wish that the walk would take forever, that we would never reach the square and I would be safe. Safe from the Games, the Reaping and early death. But it doesn't, and we reach the square in 15 minutes. Just as we get there, the reaping bell rings.

Aurik takes my hand and leads me over to the sign in booth. "It wont hurt, I promise." he whispers to me and it doesn't; it's only a small prick.

My finger is placed on a piece of card, leaving a smudge of red blood and the woman scans it. She nods and my breakfast threatening to make an appearance, I separate from Aurik and walk into the mingle of 12 and 13 year olds.

Some are crying, some bawling, some standing as still as statues, emotion barely registering on their face. Almost everyone is dressed up for the Reaping. You have to look your best if you're going to the Capitol.

Epone Ride appears on stage, waving her hands excitedly. Everyone around me tenses, and I bow my head looking to the floor, shuffling my feet slightly.

"Hello there, District Seven!" Epone screeches into the microphone. "It's a pleasure visiting your District. Now, you all know why I'm here, isn't it exciting!?"

A warbled speech and a video later, she walks over to the girl's bow. I watch, was that my name her long finger just brushed over, a friends name? I hold my breath as she walks back to the microphone. "Adina Lark."

My vision distorts. My name. There must be a mistake, I can't possibly be participating in the Games. There must be another Adina Lark, but when all the faces turn to me and my name is read out again I know it's no mistake.

I clench my fists, ignoring the ears that roll down my cheeks.

"Addie, run!" Aurik screams. I run towards him, willing for his arms to wrap around me, for his voice whispering in my ear that it's okay.

Three peacekeepers lift me easily off the ground, my hands outstretched and grabbing thin air as I struggle. Eventually, I admit defeat and let the sobs wrack my body. One of the peacekeepers hold my arm on the stage, in case I tried to run again.

Epone gave me a pitiful look and, clearing her throat, she walked over to the boys ball. I watched her select the name. Was it Aurik's name that she held in her hand? "Ash Yew."

I frowned, that name was not familiar. A boy stepped out of the 12 year old section and made his way shakily to the stage, tears dripping from his eyes too. His mother and father were easy to pick out of the crowd at the back, both distraught. My mum was too, her hands covering her face.

We shook hands and were led into the justice building to say our goodbyes.

* * *

I run my hands over the plush chair in an attempt to calm myself down, to stop the tears falling. But it doesn't work. I cry even harder, realising that I will never ever set foot in this district again.

There's no doubt about it, District 7 had no victor this Games. Two 12 year olds were reaped, and that never ended well. Twelvies were usually bloodbaths. No. _Always_ bloodbaths.

The door swings open and Aurik rushes in, scooping me into his arms. "Addie," he whispers. "Addie, you have to come home." He's crying too and suddenly we're both on the ground in a sobbing mess. Aurik, my big brother, the boy who practically raised me was sobbing. Something I had never seen before.

Mum joins the misery party, and all three of us clutch tightly to each other, tears streaming down our raw cheeks. Mum breaks away and fishes around in her pocket, producing a locket on a golden chain. "Take this," she whispers, "Don't forget us."

"How could I?" I sniffle, "I love you both."

Peacekeepers appear at the door, and Aurik starts screaming my name again as she is pulled from the room. I sit on the edge of the seat again, waiting to be taken to the train.

I'm not ready to die.


	2. Train ride to the Capitol

I don't argue with the Peacekeepers when they come to fetch me for the train. I curl my hand into a fist around my locket and follow after them, keeping my eyes on the floor. Ash joins us, his eyes bloodshot and red. A leaf brooch is pinned onto his shirt; his token.

When we walk from the shelter of the Justice Building, people are waiting, some crying, some looking relieved their children were safe. Most gave us both sad looks, chanting our names quietly. They knew we weren't coming home, and we knew it too, both me and Ash.

Epone ushers us inside the car, smiling wide for all the cameras that are trained on her face. She gets in beside us and closes the door with a sigh. "Now, you two," she instructs to me and Ash. "We'll be going on a train that leads to the Capitol. After that, you will be taken into the Remake Centre where you will be prepared for the chariot ride then we will have dinner. This is the schedule for today and tomorrow; the train ride will take a little over a day."

I sneak a glance over at Ash. His cheeks are stained with tear tracks and flushed red, his blonde hair sit messily on top of his head and his blue eyes are glistening with unshed tears. I nudge him gently and give him a small reassuring smile, even though I didn't know him. He smiled back and I returned my gaze back to my lap.

Drowsiness suddenly engulfed me and I had no idea why, I had slept relatively well last night, but I didn't really care. I felt my head drooping and slowly fell asleep, Epone's nattering becoming a low drone as I drifted off.

* * *

"Adina, up," Epone's hand shook my shoulder, rousing me form my dreams. I yawned, blinking in the day light. "we're here."

I look out of the window, seeing a load of camera's flashing and wincing. I open the door and step out, confused. Where were we? Why was I wearing a dress, where's Aurik? Then, it all comes flooding back to me.

Epone guides me and Ash to the train, signalling for us to smile. I lifted my lips into a smile and tried to seem happy, even though I just wanted to curl up and cry. She takes us into a room where two people sit at a huge buffet table, their heads turning as we entered.

"Aw, look at you two, so cute!" One of them gushed, walking over and pinching our cheeks. I frowned, this woman was crazy. Was this our mentor?

Her hair hung down like a light brown mane that surrounded her face. Her blue eyes were kind, although her forehead was creased with wrinkles.

The man approached us, sizing us up. He mumbled something under his breath about our size and then walked back to the table. Me and Ash followed him, taking a seat opposite the man. The woman and Epone follow after and they sit down. "Let's eat," Epone suggests.

I shrug and begin to pile food on my plate, despite my mood, I was so, so hungry. I chomped on a chicken leg, closing my eyes and savouring the taste. Beside me, Ash was attacking a piece of steak, gobbling it down in massive bites. The speed at which we ate spoke of our starved upbringings and the mentors both chucked to themselves white Epone glared at us muttering about table manners.

After we finish eating and the plates and remaning food is taken away, it's time to talk to out mentors. The woman introduces herself as Cassia, and the man, Hugh. They're both previous victors, having won the games before me and Ash were even born. "To start off with, what're you names and/or nicknames?" Cassia grins.

"Um, my name's Ash. I don't really have a nickname." Ash starts, then looks toward me.

"Well, my name's Adina but my family calls me Addie." I shrug.

"What are your strengths?" Hugh takes his turn questioning us.

"I can climb, and I'm good with an axe," Ash babbles. "I can paint too, and I can identify some types of poisonous berries."

"And you Addie?"

"I can climb?" I say quietly, I wasn't good at much. To be honest, not like Ash was. I couldn't handle an axe, I couldn't paint even if my life depended on it.

"That's all?" Cassia frowns, "I guess we can work with that."

"Epone," Hugh says, breaking the silence that fell. "Why don't you go and, uh, show the two to their rooms?"

Epone nods and I follow her out of the room. The mentors had just confirmed my suspicions. I was going to die in these games, I wasn't stupid. When I'm shown to my room I throw myself of my bed, sobbing into the pillow. I was useless. I would never see Aurik again.

* * *

A gentle knock sounds on my door, and I roll over. "Yeah?" I call, doing nothing to stop my voice from wavering.

Ash pokes his head around the door. He's been crying too, his eyes are red. "I was just wondering if you needed any company," he sniffs. "I heard you crying so I thought I'd come and join the misery party."

He closes the door behind him and sits on the edge of the bed. "I keep running over the reaping in my head," he whispers. "And the goodbyes, my mum, my dad, little Cleo, Fabian," he rubs his eyes. "I'm never going to see them again, and I'm not even sure if Cleo will even remember me, she's only two." The tears were falling freely down his cheeks. I was crying too. "I don't want to die," he continues. "My family are religious, but I'm still scared. I don't want to be alone in the afterlife."

"I don't either. I want to be home again, with mum and Aurik. Even if our house is small, and we frequently eat stale bread or tasteless cheese. I just want to go home, like you. But I'm not going. I can't go, I mean, we're up against people twice our size! I can't even swing an axe, but they'll be skilled with all types of weapons."

Ash just nods. "We can't change it now, though. There's no going back."

We're silent for a while, both thinking of home, of our families. Thinking of the places we will never set foot in again. our beds which will lay empty, the people we will never hug, or be able to make laugh again.

"Ash," I speak up finally. "Will you be my ally in the arena?"

"Yeah," He smiles and wipes the tears. "Maybe we can ally with some of the other Districts too?"

"Maybe, we cou-"

I'm interrupted by a knock on the door. Hugh pokes his head around the door and smiles at us both. "Making friends, I see? Anyway, Epone says it's time for dinner.

* * *

"We're going to ally," Ash says proudly, swallowing a spoonful of soup. "And we're going to see if any other the other outlier Districts will ally with us too."

Cassia tilts her head. "Might work, if you can build up a strong alliance," she says. "But remember, the Careers will have their little pack and if they see you're good at something, they might try and recruit you."

"What do we do if they ask us?"

"Well, you say yes. Otherwise they'll target you in the Games." Hugh says,as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Say they ask Addie, but not me," Ash questions and I almost choke on the meat I'm eating. "Then what would Addie do if she wanted to stay ally with me?"

"I don't know," Cassia taps her chin, thinking. "I guess she would have to ally with the Careers, maybe she could convince them to let you into the pack too, but I don't know if that will work."

I finish off my slices of turkey and roast potatoes and stand up, full. "Excuse me, I think I'm going to go to bed now. Have a nice night."

Truth is, I didn't want to talk about the Games or alliances, I didn't want to listen to Cassia or Hugh, or Epone. I didn't want to sleep, either. I just wanted to go home and lay in my own bed, listening to Aurik telling me about his day, to mum complaining about work.

I climb into the over large Capitol made bed and lie between the silk sheets. I still had my Reaping dress on, I didn't want to take it off. I lay, staring at the ceiling, imagining I was back home. That Aurik and mum were still there. Their faces danced in front of my eyes as I fell into a deep slumber.


End file.
